Echo!
by Angel Pendragon
Summary: Arthur angers Merlin with his insensitive nature.. Merlin recalls painfull memories of his teen years..
1. Chapter 1

_Echo!_

The snow was falling furiously covering Camelot in a haunting crisp white sheet.

Arthur pranced around his chambers, the smirk on his face was taunting and child like.

"Oh come on Merlin it's Christmas, where is your festive spirit?" Arthur's tone harassed Merlin's thoughts.

The young servant stared coldly at the chambers walls, his expression like ice, a deathly sadness in his eye's.

"I just don't see the big deal with Christmas, it's not something I really care about" replied the servant through clenched teeth.

…….

Arthur picked up a branch of mistletoe and handed it to Merlin "go… go find some Christmas cheer" his face still plastered with a ridiculous smirk.

"Arthur, seriously don't…….. I'm not in the mood" snapped Merlin as he turned away from the Prince, ignoring the branch of mistletoe Arthur still had in his hand.

Arthur raised his brow and pouted his perfect, pale lips!

…….

The atmosphere in the room was thick with awkwardness.

Arthur lifted the mistletoe to his lips and tapped it gently against his nose.

"Mistletoe is meant to bring good luck….. I think, anyway" he gazed up at Merlin "apparently if you kiss someone under the mistletoe then you are meant to be with that person".

Merlin's gaze was fixed on the floor, he stood silent and still.

"Personally I think it's a little silly….. I mean one kiss under the mistletoe can't determine who you are supposed to be with…. Right" Arthur continued to speak but Merlin wasn't listening.

……..

Merlin's thoughts were elsewhere.

He was remembering his first kiss under the mistletoe, he played the memory over in his head like it was something he had only experienced yesterday.

He was 15 years old, she was a girl from a neighbouring village.

She was sweet, kind and she had a mysterious vale over her, she was beautiful in a majestic way.

Her eye's were as blue as the oceans, her skin was pale with a slight hint of rose upon her cheeks and her hair was dark like the earth.

He had met her out on a walk one day, he had been bullied by some of the boys in his village and he needed to escape, he needed to think and be alone.

Away from the taunts, away from the pushing and shoving.

………

He didn't fit in well in Ealdor, the villagers didn't understand his gift.

They looked at him as if he was pure evil, he was surprised he hadn't been dragged out of bed and tortured during the night.

Instead he was pushed around, called names and looked at with deathly stares.

It broke his mothers heart to see her son bullied and hated for just being different.

She knew deep in her heart that he would never fit in here and as soon as he was old enough for her to let him go she would send him to live with her friend.

Someone who could guild her son and nurture his powers, instead of bully him and cast him out.

…………..

Merlin walked out to the neighbouring village Eolvin, a small farming village like his own.

He walked slowly past the small field of golden crops, past the clearing that was covered with wild flowers and down to the small creek.

As he sat on a rock, his head in his hands, sobbing his heart out.

He heard a sweet voice "are you ok".

Merlin looked up and met her gaze, his red puffy eye's met her beautiful bright blue piercing eye's.

He felt weak, he had been caught crying by a girl.

"I don't mean to…" she studied the mysterious boy who was slumped on a rock, tears streaming down his face.

She kneeled in front of him and smiled up at him "I heard you crying, you're not from Eolvin are you" she asked her voice full of concern.

Merlin wiped his tears with his sleeve and sniffled, "no.. no I'm from Ealdor, not like they want me though" his words caught sharp in his throat.

He stared out into the distance, his face full of pain and loneliness.

"I am Earenella Dusqaune, but you can call me Earen" she smiled.

The young boy stretched his legs out to touch the ground.

"My name is Merlin" he replied with a warm smile.

…………..

Merlin sat with Earen for hours by the creek, telling stories and telling her about his mother.

"she sounds like a wonderful woman, I would love to meet her one day" Earen beamed.

She passed Merlin an apple and a flask with water in it "you should eat something" she smiled.

He felt his heart warming, he had at least one friend in this cruel world, a young girl he had just met.

…………..

Arthur stared at Merlin from across the room "do you care to share whatever exciting thought your having" he mocked as he tossed the mistletoe down on to his bed.

Merlin blinked and he felt a warm trickle run down his face.

"Merlin are you deaf" Arthur yelled.

"No I'm not…….. I just don't want to share my memories with someone who takes them for granted" Merlin snapped.

Arthur's eye's grew wide with shock, he narrowed his gaze at Merlin and coughed.

"What do you mean by that" he spat.

Merlin glared at the Prince, "Prince Arthur, most desired man in Camelot, you can have any woman you want……….. You wouldn't know a good thing if it hit you in the face" he growled.

Arthur's expression fell confused "Merlin, where has this come from?" Arthur's tone inquiring as to why his servant had suddenly gone off on a rage.

…………..

Arthur slowly made his way over to his servant and stood before him.

He caught sight of the tears and sighed "why are you crying" his eye's searching Merlin's sad face.

Merlin's lip trembled with pain, his eye's empty apart from the shimmer of salty tears that were welling up.

Arthur laid his hand on his servants shoulder and leaned down to his ear "I know I'm a brat but I can tell when someone is hurting, talk to me" he spoke in a soft gentle voice that made Merlin choke up.

…………..

Merlin pulled away from the Prince's touch and spun around and headed to the door.

Arthur's eye's followed his servant "Merlin.. Merlin come back" his voice echoing off of the chambers walls.

Merlin pulled the door open and ran down the hall back to Gaius' quarters.

The door swung open and Merlin hurried past the old physician. Gaius peered up from his potions and his eye's followed Merlin as he slammed the door to his room.

……………

Merlin laid upon his humble bed, he snuggled into the thin wool blanket that he used to cover himself at night.

His tears ran down his face and pooled onto the pillow that lay under his head.

His mind once again playing out his memories.

…………

Hunith turned to the door and smiled at her weary son, she had been cooking a special dinner of chicken and vegetables, she didn't have much food but she did the best she could.

The smell of roast chicken filled the room.

The fire was blazing making the small humble home glow.

Merlin guided Earen into the house to meet his mother.

Hunith smiled and greeted Earen with a warm hand shake.

Merlin gathered cups and set out the wooden plates on the table so his mother could dish out the food.

…………….

Merlin had known Earen a couple of months before he took her back to Ealdor to meet his mother, they were best friends and in Earen's heart she thought they were kindred spirits.

Neither one of them actually fitting in in their village and they both understood each other.

……………

Hunith was sleeping in the chair after wearing her self out cooking and preparing the dinner and setting the house up with fresh flowers and twigs of holly and mistletoe to make the place more festive.

"Mistletoe is meant to bring you luck" Earen commented with a grin.

Merlin cocked his brow "really" his face so naïve and innocent.

Earen picked a piece off of the mantle and stood before the young boy.

"There is also another myth that goes with mistletoe" she whispered into his ear.

Merlin leaned back in his chair and pulled a confused but very cute face "what myth?" his eye's bright and inquisitive.

Earen held the mistletoe above their heads and leaned into Merlin and gently kissed him on the lips.

The kiss lasted a couple of seconds, Earen pulled away with a smile "I guess we will have to see if the myth is true" she whipped with a soft laugh.

…………..

The door to Merlin's room slowly opened, Gaius stood with a dull expression on his face "what's happened now" he asked as he entered the room and took a seat on the end of the bed.

Merlin pressed his face into the pillow so Gaius could not see his tears or his red drained eye's.

"Merlin.. What did Arthur do now?" questioned the old man.

Merlin pictured Earen's face and he felt his heart break over and over again.

………………

"It's not Arthur" he managed to speak, forcing the words through his sobs.

The young man struggled up on his bed and sat slumped against the headboard, tears still streaming down his face.

"I hate this time of year and Arthur is insensitive" he spat.

"Arthur is insensitive every day of the year, what's so different about this time of year?" Gaius asked in a concerned tone.

Merlin let a slight smirk slip "he's not that bad, he just takes things for granted, things I would give anything for".

Gaius sighed "do you want to talk about it?, I'll listen".

Merlin squeezed his eye's closed and took a deep breath "it hurts so much to think about it" he said his voice breaking.

Gaius placed his hand on Merlin's leg "talking can ease the pain, so can crying".

Merlin slammed his head against the wall "it happened years ago, when I was 15".

Gaius nodded, listening intently.

"I met a girl, the most amazing girl I had ever known, Earen! She was from a neighbouring village" Merlin stared at the wall, concentrating, recalling the memory.

"Eolvin" Gaius asked as he straightened on the bed.

Merlin nodded, Gaius inhaled deeply and gave Merlin a knowing look.

"I'm so sorry Merlin, I……..I cant imagine.." he trailed off and fell silent.

Merlin watched the old man as he sat in silence.

"Eolvin was one of the biggest tragedies Albion has ever had to date and I'm so sorry you had to.." Merlin cut him off with a sharp growl.

"it's so unfair, every year I have to relive the pain and the loss" his face now full of anger as well as pain.

Gaius stared at the young man "you lost someone you cared about, but you must not let this ruin your life Merlin, we all lose people we care about" Gaius' words failed to comfort Merlin or even make sense.

"she was a child… we both were.. But we.. We had something" his words caught in his throat again.

"I went to her village on Christmas day to give her a present, a necklace I had made her and some flowers… when I got there the village was ashes.. The heat was unbearable, there was bodies everywhere" his tone growing angrier with every word.

"They killed a whole village, men, women, children, even animals. They stole food and trinkets and then burned it to the ground" he clenched his fists and gritted his teeth.

Gaius nodded knowingly "Earen died with them, that's why you hate Christmas".

……………………..

Arthur stood by his window, he felt a cool breeze sweep over him as his door opened.

Merlin stood in the door way, his face gaunt, his eye's swollen and sore.

His frail slender figure hovering in the door way.

"I just want to say I am sorry for…. Losing it with you" he spoke in a barely audible tone, but Arthur knew what he was on about.

"Merlin I am not the enemy" Merlin cut him off.

"I know and I'm sorry… Christmas has unhappy memories for me" he began to explain his feelings to the Prince.

…………………………….

Arthur picked up the branch of mistletoe and handed it to Merlin "I'm sorry for being an insensitive oaf, take this and keep it in her memory" his voice soft with compassion.

Merlin took the mistletoe and held it to his chest "we should have been together forever" he whispered.

Arthur backed off and left Merlin to his thoughts, memories of his lost love..


	2. Chapter 2

Finger prints.

Merlin squinted into the distance, the sun blinding his sunken eyes.

"He ran this way sire" a villager yelled as he pointed towards the market square.

Arthur and his Knights took off, Arthur shouting orders to the Knights to cut the man off from the other side of the town.

Merlin observed the commotion with watchful eyes and anticipation.

…....................................

The man ran through the town dodging villagers who were trying to play hero and guards who were following him in pursuit.

Arthur threw a potato from a near by stall and it hit the man on the back of the legs, sending him tumbling to the floor.

Arthur drew his sword and held it to the man's back "move and I will run you through".

The man laid face down on the floor as the Prince towered over him.

The Knights dragged him to his feet and pushed him towards Arthur, his face was calm.

"You run, yet when you are caught, you fail to beg for your life" Arthur spat at the man.

The man met Arthur's stare, his eyes cold and lifeless "why give you the satisfaction of hearing my plea for life, when you will kill me anyway" the man's mannerism as cold as his eyes.

…...............................

King Uther was speaking with a guard when Arthur approached him in the court, his expression full of doubt.

"Did you catch the sorcerer? Or did he once again escape?" the Kings tone harsh and stomach churning.

Arthur bit his tongue, he swore one day he would lose it with his father and give him a piece of his mind, but today was not the day.

"Yes sire, he is in the jail" Arthur replied without looking at his father.

Arthur kept his eyes to the ground, he did not want to have his father see the look of disgust in his eyes.

"Good, he shall be executed at sunrise, see to it" the King ordered.

"Why? Why execute the man? You don't even know if this man is actually a sorcerer, you just think he is because he tried to warn you......." Arthur snarled at his father "you can't kill everyone you suspect to be a sorcerer".

The King glared at his insolent son "he is a seer, he must be executed" he snapped before dismissing his son.

…........................

Merlin sat opposite Arthur in his chambers, he had made Arthur soup, but he wasn't eating it.

"I'm sorry, the soup, its mostly potato and water, I can make you something else" Merlin said his voice sweet and apologetic.

Arthur forced a wry smile "no it's fine, I'm just not hungry!".

Merlin leaned back in the chair "that man, he's going to be executed right?" Merlin's expression sad.

Arthur only nodded, his mouth opened as if he was about to say something but the words retreated in his mind and he thought better of it.

"He was only trying to warn Camelot, how can the King kill him for that?" Merlin asked as he shifted the plates from the table.

Arthur gripped his goblet, his knuckles seeping white "because it's easier for him to dismiss the warnings if he kills the man, he can continue to be ignorant towards the fact that Camelot is going to come under attack and it has nothing to do with magic, he just wants to blame magic, he always has, he always will" the Prince continued to speak angrily about his father.

Merlin had never seen or heard Arthur speak like this before.

"I cannot allow that man to be executed for nothing" Arthur said as he shot up out of the chair and headed for the door.

…............................

The villagers all gathered in the town square to witness the execution of the mysterious man who had caused so much trouble in Camelot.

"You tried your best" whispered Merlin as he stood beside the Prince in the crowd away from his father.

"He is still being executed, so obviously I didn't try hard enough".

Merlin glanced around the crowed "I still don't understand how people can enjoy this" he mutterd.

…..........................

"When do we attack" asked a young, rough looking man.

He looked over to the group of men who accompanied him, "NOW" replied a rough, groggy voice.

The young man kicked on his horse and the group followed. Hooves thundering on the ground.

The young woman who was riding with the group held back and slowly trotted behind the men.

A dark rugged looking man glanced back at her and shot her a toothy grin, she rolled her eyes and slowed her horse to a walk.

"We must hurry, his time is almost up" the groggy voiced yelled as the men's horses set off into a fast gallop and echoed out of sight.

The young woman looked to the sky and shook her head "he's already dead, this is just going to cause more problems" she muttered to her self.

…..................................

"Do you have any last words before you die?" asked King Uther as he scrutinized the man who was kneeling before the chopping block.

The man looked up at the King on the palace balcony and smiled "Camelot's end is near! Prepare to witness the loss of the most important thing Camelot will ever have, Arthur Pendragon. His time is up" Uther's eyes flashed with rage and he signalled for the executer to drop the axe.

Thud and the man was dead.

….......................................

The group blazed into Camelot just as the axe fell.

"NO" screamed the rough young man as he jumped off the horse and drew his sword.

His eyes searched the crowed and they fell upon Arthur, the young man lunged for Arthur with his sword.

Merlin saw the man hurdling towards the Prince and dived in front of him to shield him from the sword.

Arthur's eye's grew wide as he noticed the sword heading towards him and Merlin.

'CLANG' the man's sword fell from his grip and bounced onto the floor.

"What are you doing?" snarled the young man "he must die" the young man's face grew red with rage as he pulled his dagger on the person who had intervened.

The cloaked figure struck the man with their sword and he crashed to the floor, bleeding out.

…..........................................

The men from the group all sat silent on their horses, staring at the dead body that lay up on the chopping block.

"Traitor" the man with the groggy voiced screamed as he drew his sword.

King Uther stared down on the group of men who had arrived too late to save their friend.

The groggy man glared at the cloaked figure "you traitor, you kill your allies and for what? To save those of Camelot. Your people would be ashamed".

"I did this for my people!" replied the figure.

"I did this to save my people, the only one I have left" the figure moved in to view and removed the cloak.

Her gaze met Merlin's "I was never going to stand by and let you kill Prince Arthur, I never planned on killing anyone... but when his life was put in danger.. I had to" the woman from the group said as she moved closer to Merlin and Arthur.

"Why is Arthur so important to you?" hissed the man from the group.

"He's not........ but he is" she said as she pointed to Merlin.

A smile spread across her face "to kill Arthur you will have to kill Merlin and to kill Merlin you will have to kill me".

…......................................

Arthur stared confused at the woman "who are you?" he asked his eyes glistening in the early morning sun.

"Earen" Merlin gasped.

The young woman smiled at Merlin and lowered her head.

"Earen.... as in.... I thought you were dead" whipped Arthur as he spun to face Merlin and sighed.

"Merlin... she's alive, very alive"


	3. Chapter 3

Self Inflicted.

Weeks had gone by in Camelot, Merlin was nothing more than a shadow of his former self, his usual quirky and cheery sense of humour had gone, he barely ever smiled and he barely ever spoke like he used to.

Arthur stared at him from across the room, his servant was sinking back in to him self, what he would give to just hear Merlin make some ridiculous comment or even talk back to him when he pulled him up on something, but he never did, instead he would just vaguely set about doing whatever Arthur had pulled him up on, if he told him his armour was not clean enough Merlin would just bring out his cleaning equipment and start to clean it again, never complaining.

Gaius had noticed the change in the young Warlock too, so had Gwen and even Morgana, everybody had noticed and there was nothing any of them could do about it.

Arthur and Gaius had both tried talking to him, trying their damnedest to get him to speak but failing each time.

Arthur had even taken Merlin out on a hunt and gave him every opportunity to talk to him, the Prince left him self wide open and willing to listen even give advice if need be, but Merlin never took him up on the offer and stayed a recluse, not even mentioning the events of the day the seer was executed and Earen stormed back in to his life after years of being thought dead.

Arthur had never managed to find out just what happened and what was said between the two former sweet hearts.

He didn't exactly know why but he found him self laid in bed in the dead of night wondering and trying to work out just what could have happened between them both to make Merlin the way he was now.

Whatever it was Arthur knew it must have been bad because even through the horrible things he had witnessed Merlin go through, he had never seen him like this, broken, full of grief and depression, truly lost in his own self torment.

Arthur stared at Merlin waiting for a reaction, he had just come face to face with the girl he had thought died in the carnage of Eolvin years ago during the christmas celebrations.

Merlin merely stared, his eyes in disbelief, he felt numb and with in seconds nothing made sense any more, how could she be alive? He had seen the village scorched to the ground, there was nothing left of Eolvin but ashes and corpses of the fallen when he arrived.

The heat was unbearable and nothing could have survived it, but some how she did.

He would recognise those eyes and that smile, they were the only things that had kept him going when ever he would get pushed around his village, he would spend night after night picturing her smile to make him self feel better and to forget about the cruel taunts of the villagers.

It had taken him years to get over what he saw, years for the burning loss to die down and it took him years to finally stop waking up screaming her name as he woke from yet another nightmare, all he ever saw was flames and Earen stood trapped within them, as he reached out to grab her he began to scream her name and then he would wake up, terrified, heart broken, screaming and crying.

Now she was stood in front of him in Camelot, she had just saved his and Arthur's lives as she fought one of her own to protect them, how could this be?

Earen turned to the men on the horses realising Merlin wasn't going to say anything to her, what did she expect him to say exactly? She thought as her gaze met that of the group of men who she had just turned on, the men who had looked after her and saved her from the blazing village.

"I can not let you kill Arthur, its not Arthur who is the enemy, he isn't the one who had Simon executed, that was Uther" she stated coldly as the men did nothing but glared their unforgiving eyes in to her.

"Uther kills our men, we kill his and if that means the precious Prince then so let it be" snarled the young man of the group.

Earen narrowed her eyes and gave the group a hateful glare "then you will have to kill me".

The young man glared back at her, his eyes full of hate and betrayal, nothing about him seemed sincere, he had a murderous glint in his eyes as he jumped down from the horse and paced towards the woman.

The Knights who had ran to Arthur's aid each drew their swords and stood closer, covering him, ready to fight if their Prince became under threat.

The young man's attention was solely focused on Earen, his face burning with rage as he flew at her with his blade drawn, he grabbed her by the neck and held the blade to her throat, she let out a whimper as the man pressed the cold, sharp tip of the blade to against her wind pipe, she knew he would kill her with out thinking, he was driven by rage and revenge, he would kill any body if it made him feel better.

"Reconsider your choices very carefully or I will kill you" he growled in her ear as he squeezed the back of her neck sending a shooting pain down her back as he put pressure on her spine.

The man turned her to face Arthur and Merlin "still willing to die for them? They don't care about you" he spat his voice dripping hate and fury.

She stared helplessly at the two men she had just saved and all she got back was Arthur lower his head and Merlin staring in to the distance, the expression on his pale face was still disbelief but there was also a shadow of remorse, his eyes appeared to be on the edge of leaking tears.

She closed her eyes, her soul and her heart wanting to scream for Merlin to help her but she couldn't, she wouldn't.

If she was going to die, she was going to die with dignity and not go down screaming and crying.

She would not give them the satisfaction of hearing her screams, if the group had taught her one thing it was that they never showed pity or remorse, they got some kind of a buzz off hearing their victims scream and beg for their lives, she would not, she knew better.

Earen felt the blade dig in to her throat as the young man waited for her response, her heart beating faster and her gut twisting as she stared at Merlin, the boy she used to be friends with, the boy she gave her heart to and all he could do now was stare in to the distance and say nothing as her life was being threatened.

Earen closed her eyes in an attempt to hide her fear, took a deep breath, taking in the sweet, cool air knowing it would be her last and she bravely if not foolishly held her head high, opened her eyes to take one last glance at Merlin before giving the young, vicious man his answer.

"I'd rather die than be a part of killing the Prince" her words flowing calm and just.

The man's eyes burned with hate, fury and menace as he clenched the handle of the blade, making it quiver against her skin "then die" he growled as he brought the blade back ready to plunge it in to her.

Earen squeezed her eyes shut waiting for the blade to hit, she was ready to die and for what? Was she willing to die to save Arthur or because she could not bare the way Merlin was being with her?.

"NO" screamed a distressed voice, there was a scuffle and then the blade hit the ground with a clang.

Earen's eyes shot open to see Arthur holding a bloody dagger inches from her side, then she felt the grip around her neck slacken and eventually fall away, the young man fell to the ground in a pool of crimson, his eyes staring coldly up at her, yet she felt no remorse for the life that had just been taken.

Arthur took Earen by the arm and lead her away from the body of fallen man, he lead her slowly to the side of one of his Knights who stared at her cautiously.

She knew he didn't trust her which rather hurt her feelings, she had risked her own life to save that of the Prince's and his Knight was stood inches from her questioning her intentions and her actions.

"This is war Pendragon" screamed one of the other men from the group as he turned his horse and was ready to charge in to the Prince in a bid to get revenge for his fallen accomplice and son.

The Knights all lined up in front of Arthur with their swords drawn high, each of them willing to die for the young Pendragon and future king of Camelot.

The man charged followed by the other members of his group straight towards the Prince with their weapons held high, they all let out a shrill scream as they charged straight for the Prince and his Knights, they all had one thing on their minds, to kill the opposite side, to save them selves and kill the others.

Merlin snapped to life as he heard the crashing of swords, his mouth gaping as he realised what was happening.

Tragedy struck when one of the men from the group struck one of Arthur's loyal Knights, making him fall to the ground with a sword stuck in his chest, as the Knight fell it made passage for the murdering monster to get Earen, he hurled straight towards her as he wielded an axe.

Earen fell cold, unable to move as she witnessed her once friend now hurdling towards her with murder in his eyes, she was frozen to the spot in terror and betrayal, her heart sinking as she knew nothing would ever be the same again, she had lost everything and was now about to lose her life.

Images flashing in her head, her life but only the parts that involved Merlin, their first kiss under the mistletoe, how he used to make her laugh and how he made her feel whole, complete and happy.

The next few seconds passed in a haze she felt the brush of cold air rush over her as the man hurdled towards her, the axe glimmering in the sun sending a blinding reflection in to her eyes, then she found her self on the floor, her side aching from the fall.

Fall or push? Her mind panicking, had she been hit? Was she hurt? Was she going to die?.

Her head was spinning, she felt sick and she felt her self losing the will to keep her eyes open, she lost her fight with conciousness.

Gaius hurried around the room bringing potions and water, there were voices talking, all jumbled and not making any sense.

Earen tried to open her eyes to see who was there but she didn't have the energy, her mouth felt dry and her throat was sore, she could smell burnt wood, a sharp citrus aroma and another strong unrecognisable scent.

Her head ached and the noise around her made her feel worse, she just wanted to shout out to them to be quiet, even though she had no idea who it was, she still had no idea how she got here, wherever she was and who saved her? Who knocked her out of the path of the man who was about to kill her.

Merlin dangled out of his window, hanging his head low trying to compose his thoughts and work out his feelings.

Earen was alive, he should be happy, the girl he used to love and still did was alive but he couldn't help but feel a deep betrayal with in him, he had cried so much over her death, a death that never happened.

He wondered how she came into the care of those men, if care was what they did for her, had they made her kill people? Did she enjoy it? Did she think of him? Why did she really come to Camelot?.

Then something hit him, she had no idea he was in Camelot, he could have still been in Ealdor for all she knew.

He felt a stab at his heart as he realised this could be another one of his destinies, maybe they had been dealt another hand by fate to find each other again and be together.

The feeling in his heart told him he still loved her, why else did he save her, he risked his own life to save her by throwing himself at her to knock her out of the way of the man with the axe.

Merlin smiled to him self as he remembered their first kiss, he wanted to do it again because he had waited so long to feel this emotion again, it was strong inside him like it used to be when he was just a teenager, he wanted to fall in love with her all over again and this time not lose her.

Earen woke to find Merlin sat beside her, he was distracted and he had his hands clenched together, his eyes closed and he was muttering something under his breath.

"Magic" she managed to say in a groggy voice which made him snap out of his trance and look at her, his eyes still as beautiful as they ever were.

Merlin stared at her for a moment before letting a smile break his lips, he leaned in and brushed her hair with his finger as he scanned her face.

"I thought I would never get to speak to you again" she whispered as her throat began to give in due to feeling so dry.

Merlin pressed a cup of water against her lips and tilted it for her so she could have a drink, "thank you" she said sounding better and louder.

"I'm sorry" Merlin finally said.

Earen stared at him with confusion "what for?" she replied.

Merlin's smile disappeared and his face fell sad "for everything, your village, my reaction to you when you saved our lives" he paused "for hurting your side when I knocked you down" he said with a smirk.

"You saved me" Earen spluttered.

Merlin smiled and his cheeks flushed, he nodded shyly, that feeling was creeping back, he was falling back in to a state of infatuation as he gazed up on his lost love.

"There's a few things I need to know" he muttered as he tried to hold her gaze but he failed and found his eyes darting around his head as he did not know where to focus them.

"I need to know what happened, I need to know everything and I need to know if we could ever be...." he trailed off as he searched his mind for the right words, what were the right words? What did he want to say? he thought.

Earen placed her palm against his flushed cheek, nothing made sense to her either, she wished she could tell him what he needed to know but she didn't know what good that would do.

It would not bring back the past few years, it would not heal his emotional wounds, it would not erase all the nights he cried for her.

Merlin waited until Earen was out of bed and able to walk around, then he took her to the river, they started out by the river he thought it was a good place to start again, plus the river always made him feel calm and he could gather his thoughts as he talked things through with her.

The woods were calm and peaceful nothing stirred and they felt happy just walking with each other, Merlin wanted to take Earen's hand and hold it, not let her go but he couldn't.

He wanted to but he stopped him self, he didn't want to leave him self wide open for any more pain and rejection, a few years had passed since that fateful Christmas and they had both changed.

Merlin had come to Camelot, he had been entrusted to keep Arthur safe and he had to grow up, he was not that fifteen year old boy any more, he was now a man with a destiny and however much he wanted Earen to be a part of his destiny he knew she might never be and he had to focus on Arthur, Camelot and their futures.

Earen stopped and sighed "I don't want to hurt you Merlin, my life over the past couple of years has been crazy, I was rescued from the blazing village by a man called Marcus, he was one of the men who attacked Camelot, Arthur killed his son Elliot, the one who was going to kill me, he took me back to his camp and his wife looked after me, she died a year ago, ever since then we have been travelling from village to village, Simon the man who was executed in the town square he was a seer, he helped the group with his visions, he told them when army's were going to attack towns and they would go along and steal anything of value, he also told them of when they were going to face troubles, he had a vision of Camelot's fall, he told Marcus and obviously he wanted to come along and wallow in the glory, he wanted to witness the death of Arthur and Uther as well as steal anything he could" she told Merlin calmly.

"But I couldn't let it happen, I had my own plan, whatever it took do it to save Camelot and the Pendragon's, I never wanted to kill anybody but when Arthur's life was in danger I had to..... then I saw you and.... I had to protect you" she continued.

Merlin listened to her intently hanging on her every word, never once questioning her, he was too far falling for her he could not bring him self to interrupt.

Earen smiled at the young warlock, she loved him deeply and always had, she would do anything for him but she knew he had too many questions and always would.

Earen was also wanted, King Uther had ordered for her to be jailed as soon as she was well enough, show some good faith for her saving Arthur but as far as Uther was concerned she was still guilty and she initially came to Camelot to kill Arthur, he didn't care what she said.

She was as guilty as the other's in the King's eyes.

Merlin wrapped her in a hug and rested his head on her shoulder, he loved her so much, he didn't want to lose her but he knew Uther would have her jailed and eventually killed as soon as she stepped foot back in Camelot.

He pulled away from the hug and sighed deeply, he had a lump in his throat as he strung his thoughts together "I love you, but you must not stay in Camelot" he said with a sadness in his voice.

Earen felt her stomach feel heavy and she felt sick.

"Uther will have you killed I can't allow that" Merlin cried as his tears took hold and he began to cry.

Earen felt his pain, she didn't want him to hurt like this, "I know I can't" she whispered.

Merlin pulled out the piece of mistletoe Arthur had given him to keep in her memory.

He had cast a spell on it to keep it thriving and to stop it wilting and dying, he studied it for a moment before splitting it in two and handed her half of it.

"Mistletoe is like our thing" he laughed "I want you to take half, keep it with you, remember the myth, the person you kiss under the mistletoe is the one you are meant to be with, well I believe that and I don't want any body but you, if you take it I will wait for you, no matter how long it takes" he said lovingly.

Earen felt her heart skip she wanted that too, she loved him so much and wanted to be with him but she knew as long as she was on the run she could not be with him, it was not fair on him and she could not expect him to wait for her, he could be waiting forever.

Earen knew the only thing she could do to save Merlin the pain of waiting for her was to give him up, it broke her heart to think of it but the only thing she could do was let him go.

"I can't take that Merlin, its not fair to expect you to wait for me, I will never return to Camelot, not as long as Uther wants me dead" Merlin knew from her voice she was serious and he could not change her mind but he tried anyway.

"What about when Arthur is King?" he asked, his voice pleading.

Earen let her head fall to disguise the tears that had formed in her eyes "I'm sorry Merlin, by then you should be married and happy, I can't expect you to waste your life waiting for me, I don't want you to" she said softly as she touched his face, they both had to fight the urge to grab the other and kiss them until they both felt numb.

Tears began to fall down Merlin's cheek, it sent a striking pain through Earen's heart she never wanted to hurt him but she knew it was for the best, Merlin had to move on, they could never have a life as long as she was on the run and the day Arthur took the throne Merlin might have found some one else or he might be an old man, she could not expect him to spend his life waiting for her.

They stared at each other with tear stung eyes, waiting for the other to walk away first..


End file.
